Madness stops for no one
by whatsthefracas
Summary: The Greek goddess of Madness has really lost it this time. And it's all that girl Sookie's fault. Well, nothing with Eric is ever easy, is it?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: What I really should have done was a) be a good beta to whytewytch or b) work on the section of my book my editor returned, but instead I wrote this. Because I just so enjoy 'I Have Gone Out' by Nyah and 'Lady Lazarus' by BlackXangelsXofXLight. (and not just because they picked titles from two poems I love!) Anyways, yes, here it is because I wanted to give you something less depressing than 'First Cut.' Let me know what you think. There is a footnote on mythology at the end that you may want to read before, but I'll let you decide. The narrator is Lyssa, Greek goddess of Madness (as in rabidly, raging, right-sorry mad in the head).

* * *

I was born of blood and night.

With darkness my mother bore lust. But I was born of blood.

***

I have a long history of driving men insane, but I was hardly prepared for the challenge posed to me by the Vampire Queen of Louisiana. She had a mean streak, so I liked her from the start. Had I known she wanted me to waste my time mired in this godforsaken bayou, though, I wouldn't have been so nice. Trust me, I recognize primordial ooze when I see it and this place is prehistoric. Older than even its immortal inhabitants can imagine. And it is among those arrogant undead individuals that I am now trapped.

I should be right at home. We are made of the same elements, vampires and I. After eons of detestable family reunions where I was the odd half-sibling out, gazing jealously at glowing Hemera, being the butt of Momos' jokes, you'd think I'd be happy to find some sort of real kin.

But vampires are a different story. Especially now that they are out in the open. I can handle the quiet ones, the ones who like their life of mystery; they're fine. It's the ones all puffed up with self-love that I have a hard time dealing with. Hello, I'm madness incarnate! You don't see me walking around zapping people into lunacy just because I can. But those damn vamps who trot along, fangs out…you know, all I'd have to do is snap my fingers and they'd be writhing on the ground, gnashing those pretty teeth to a pulp.

I may seem to be showing a little more of my rage in this moment and it's only because I'm feeling acutely incompetent and I hate that. All I was supposed to do was spark a little bit of mania in Sheriff Eric Northman and be on my way. So the lady at the top requested. She just wanted to make some mischief with a vampire she deemed somewhat of a threat to her preeminence. It's not noble, but there aren't that many paying jobs for minor deities these days.

It started out normal enough. The queen hinted that the vampire in question had a weak spot for a human. Not all humans, her tone seemed to say. That piqued my interest. Mortals entangling themselves with beings far beyond their power is so much fun to watch. I've never been happier than when I paid witness to the debacle of my sex-minded dummy brother and that poor girl Psyche. The whole affair was _insane_. It still makes me smile. In the end, she got what everyone wants: the life of the gods. And true love, I suppose, which is the part of the story that crept into all those European fairy tales, but I know full well there was nothing true about it. Everything on Olympus is based on deception. According to my sister Apate, that's how things run in the vampire world as well. I think the farther away anyone gets from the pain of a terminal existence, the less faith and trust they put in those around them. Humans need to at least _try_ to keep each other alive and show love and give help and all that crap. But when you have an eternity to act as you please, being nice is gonna get really boring really fast.

So I decided to try a little experiment. Maybe I could involve this human girl in my job of scrambling Eric Northman's mind. It would make the game more interesting for me, I thought. But oh no.

I went to see her first. That was big mistake number one. What the queen failed to tell me was that a maenad had recently breezed through Bon Temps. I don't like having my thunder stolen, especially not by one of Dionysus' groupies, but it couldn't be helped. I was willing to consider it just an annoying coincidence, but the more I snooped around the place, the more I realized how much of an eerie locus it was for mythologicals like myself. This is a problem, see, because the easier people accept our existence and the quicker belief passes from superstition into actuality, the less our power can affect them. So much of our power is based on the fear we can cultivate in ignorant minds. But people dealing with us on a regular basis as if it's no special thing, well obviously they aren't going to cower when we appear in a cloud of smoke, hurling ancient invectives at them.

This Sookie Stackhouse girl was far too wrapped up in the non-human world for me to do anything effective with her. And as I was just planning to move from that tiny Bermuda Triangle of a town to seek out the real target Eric, I got dragged into big mistake number two.

I interacted with her. I didn't mean to! And it wouldn't have been a problem, if she hadn't been bonded to the vampire. I'm the girl who turns blood rabid. He felt me through Sookie like he would a hot kettle boiling over. He knew I was coming. He had no idea why or what for, or even who exactly I was, but at least he knew that something was headed his way.

My exchange with the girl was simple enough. There was only one place to get a drink in that town. I live on vodka. You could say it's my TruBlood. What I really prefer is liquid fire to fuel my ire, but vodka is about the closest I can come to a burning beverage when I'm on earth.

"Hey there, what can I get you?" blondie chirped.

I would go back and smack myself upside the head in that moment if I could. Instead, I just have to remember how I mumbled my order and watched her scurry off to check on another table, she totally oblivious to my nature, and I to her blood connection with Eric.

When she came back with my drink, she commented on my eyes.

"They're almost violet, it's gorgeous!"

"They're the same as my mother's," I replied, omitting the detail that they were lighter than hers, the color of night softened in the next generation. Only my brothers Hypnos and Phantasos have full black irises.

"Are you—" she started then hesitated. In a whisper she continued, "Are you something _special_?"

I looked at her sharply.

"What gave you that impression?"

"If you look around, most folks here are pretty fat and ordinary. And you're, well, you're not."

I furrowed my brow.

"I could just be from out of town."

She nodded.

Then she added confidentially, "Plus I can't hear your thoughts."

Big mistake numero tres: getting myself involved with a telepath. Any mind-reading falls under the jurisdiction of Asteria. And if there's one entity in all the universe I cannot stand it's that bitch Asteria.

No use crying over it now. This Sookie girl unwittingly invoked her. So here I am with casual frenemy turned outright foe making things miserable just because she can.

And I haven't even told you what happened with the vampire.

* * *

A Mythological Crib Sheet:

Nyx was primeval Night. With Erebus (Darkness) she had Eros (god of lust). By herself she had Apate (goddess of deceit), Momos (god of mockery), Moros (god of doom), the Oneiroi (gods of dreams: Morpheus, Phobetor, and Phantasos), Thanatos (god of death), Hypnos (god of sleep), and Nemesis (goddess of retribution), as well as others.

By the blood of castrated Uranos, she had Lyssa (goddess of madness).

Asteria is the Titan goddess of oracles, prophetic dreams, and necromancy.

**Well, readers? What's the verdict?**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: The tone has been watered down just slightly to make the narration run a little more smoothly. Hope you like!

* * *

Okay, here's how it went:

Sookie seemed very happy to find out that I was more than meets the eye.

"Can we have a word, outside?" she asked urgently.

I followed her with a sigh.

"Listen, I've got a huge problem on my hands—"

"Hold it! I'm not here to help you," I interrupted before she made a ridiculous request.

She snapped back, "Don't you think it's a little rude and unkind to—"

"Solicit aid from strangers? Yes."

She crossed her arms and glared at me. I softened. She just looked so damn doe-eyed.

"Fine," I groaned. "What is it?"

I tapped my foot to get her to talk faster, but all her words came out in a jumbled, rambling mess. Distilled down it sounded like this pretty peach had lost her dead bf to some ill-willed kidnapper.

"How'd they get him?" I asked.

"I have no idea," she cried.

I have experience with hysterical women, so I wasn't alarmed. I was still annoyed.

"Honey," I tried to say in my most rigorous attempt at sweetness. I even patted her on the shoulder.

"This is all very sad, but I really haven't the first clue what happened to whats-his-name."

"Bill," she blubbered.

"Right. Um, have you tried asking someone, I don't know, useful?"

"Well, Eric…but I don't really trust him fully."

I clapped my hand in the international gesture of "shut it."

Sookie whimpered while my godly instinct screamed: SHIT.

"Eric?" I repeated.

"You know him?"

"Sheriff of Area Five?"

She nodded.

"Oh my Zeus."

"Huh?"

"Uh, I mean, yay! So, Sookie, do you see him often?" I asked.

She shrugged.

The wheels in my head were turning. I was coming up with a Plan B.

I sidled up to her in a friendlier way.

"I'd love to meet him. And I bet I'll get a straighter answer out of him about Bob."

"Bill."

"Right."

I handed her a tissue I produced out of nowhere. She seemed appeased.

"He works at Fangtasia in Shreveport. It's open all night. We could go after my shift."

"Yes. Let's."

I gave her a reassuring smile. She walked back into Merlotte's. I kicked the gravel.

"Hades on earth, this blows!"

"Doesn't it though?" a voice breathed.

I covered my eyes in dismay. I _knew_ that voice.

"Hiya, loser," she said, finally appearing.

"Nice to see you too, Ass-teria."

"Found a little friend of mine, have you?"

"Who? Blondie?"

"You know it."

"Well, you're not exactly needed, so why don't you trot on back to the hole you crawled out of."

"You're so hostile, Lyssie. Honestly, you've been spending too much time with Ares."

I blushed and wanted to kill myself for doing so.

Asteria smiled.

I started to walk away.

"I've heard why you're here," she said, trying to draw me back. "And I know you already effed up."

"So?"

"So, I couldn't really care less about the whole scenario except that you seem to have excited my daughter Kate."

"Asteria, I swear to Kronos, if you bring her into this I will—"

"You'll what?" she taunted. "Anyways, it's too late. Catch you later, sister."

With that, she was gone. But I knew she'd come back. She always, always did. There was nothing I could do about that or the fact that her twisted freak of a child, Hekate, might pop in at any moment. Here's the thing about us gods: we just _love_ a party. Word gets out that someone's meddling in human affairs and the whole host finds a reason to be there.

I gave myself a two-minute rage allowance, in which I set off some car alarms, and went inside to down a bottle of Stoli.

Once all her closing work was done, Sookie led me to her feeble-looking car. I must have made a face because she tutted, "At least it gets me where I need to go."

She turned on the country music station, I listened for one twangy note, and the radio started playing some lovely heavy rock.

"Eugh, what is this?" she asked.

I eased back into the seat without responding and shut my eyes. She tried to turn the dial down and nothing happened.

"What the hell did you do to it?" she demanded.

"Sookie, just let the mayhem of the sounds relax you."

"You have _got _to be kidding me. This is going to drive me insane!"

"I know."

She woke me up by slamming on the brakes. In a fit, she said, "We're here."

We approached the woman at the door under the red neon Fangtasia sign. She frowned at the sight of Sookie.

"Here again?" she asked disdainfully.

To Sookie's credit, she smiled at the she-vamp. I would have snapped. But the human had uncanny resolve, perhaps a little spurred on by my helpful musical tastes. She marched herself to the unmarked door in the back of the club.

"Eric, I know you're in here," she called when we stepped into the office.

It was empty. No one answered.

Footsteps sounded behind us and the door swung open.

"Can't stay away, can you?"

Sookie turned to face him, while I slunk into the corner. I had meant to observe him before meeting him. Godly instinct this time screamed: BALLS!

"Who's your friend?" he asked before she could give him a sassy reply.

"She's, uh, er…What _is_ your name?"

"Lyssa," I said weakly.

Eric sniffed.

"And what exactly are you?"

"She's here to help me," Sookie answered for me.

Eric guessed what she meant.

"I already told you, I am doing everything within my power as Bill's Sheriff to find him."

"Yes, well, now I'm doing everything in _my_ power too," Sookie challenged.

Eric glared at me. His gaze and my failure made me want to morph into the wall. There was no simple way to go about my business without involving far more manpower than I had anticipated. I sucked it up and finally said something.

"That's right, Leif Erikson. We're gonna find him on our own and let's just say I have more connections than you do."

I noticed him falter for an instant. It was imperceptible to someone with Sookie's primitive sight, but I caught it. Even though I told myself that this Babe, Bob, Bill, whoever was of no importance, I kinda liked the idea of being drawn into inter-being intrigue. Vampires, humans, gods, oh my!

"There's nothing you're going to find that we haven't already."

"And what exactly _have _you found?" Sookie demanded.

"I told you: he was taken by those religious fanatics."

"The Fellowship of the Sun are disgraced and irrelevant," a voice drawled.

Eric shot a look at the lady vampire who had been at the door earlier.

"Pam…" he growled.

"He had to have been taken by a supe," she went on.

"Huh?" Sookie and I said in unison.

"A supernatural," Pam deigned to reply.

"Oh, you mean a wanna-be," I said, laughing.

All three of them looked at me.

"Um, so this supe," I quickly added, "would be precisely what?"

"Witch, were, it all depends," Pam answered.

"You don't know that," Eric said brusquely.

"So where do we start looking?" Sookie asked with an eagerness I found simultaneously adorable and sickening. She had to really care about this lover of hers to want to involve herself even more deeply in the realm of the unusual and unhuman.

Sure, we gods had the habit of calling all the earth-dwelling oddities wanna-bes because of their depressing desire to be more than mortal, but the truth was that they could be dangerous in their own way and there wasn't much anyone or anything could do to stop them if they had the right kind of plan and the right kind of power. Maybe I didn't want to be mixed up in this after all.

Too late, I said to myself.

I did, however, notice the slightest taint of guilt emanating from my target Eric. A little truth serum could go a long way with that one, I imagined. I began to get ideas for how I could fulfill my commission. Something told me that this vampire had lived a very long life. He was bound to be bursting with memories subdued over time. If I could awaken some of those…

"Eric," Sookie pleaded, "tell me what you think. Honestly."

And the non-breather did an unexpected thing: he sighed.

* * *

Mythology Crib Sheet:

Hekate is the daughter of Asteria and Perses. She's the goddess of witchcraft, magic, wilderness, etc.

Ares is the god of war.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you for being so patient in awaiting this update. I was struck with that wonderful epidemic flu virus (H1N1, swine flu, however you call it in your part of the world). It really knocked me for a loop. There were some moments where I thought: holy eff, please just someone turn me into a vampire right now, Edward Cullen style. Haha. Anyways, I'm beginning to get back on track. Hope you like this. And Happy Halloween!

* * *

I knew Eric was hiding something behind that fake exhalation. I wasn't positive that he would actually reveal it to the girl. He was at the cusp of a confession, I could tell, but he pressed his lips together, seeming to think the better of it.

"Sookie, you need to let me take care of matters in my area, matters which are so far beyond your grasp—"

"So far what? I think we all know that I've been mixed up in this crap for a while now and you've never done anything to shield me from it."

"Let me take care of it," he insisted.

"Look," I intervened. "Shall I propose a compromise? Sookie here needs some more solid evidence to calm her and you seem to be a bit overwrought by the investigation, so how about I make a few inquiries myself?"

Eric gave me a humorless look.

"Just get me the introductions I'd need to be effective about it," I added, not budging an inch under his gaze.

I wasn't used to people looking at me as though they could tell my true nature. Then again, Eric was not quite "people." I could feel the confusion roiling off Sookie when she considered that issue. He didn't play by the rules of normal people. There was a light glaze of rage all over her when she thought of the vampire. He had helped her in the past, but he was untrustworthy and she feared that, no matter how she protested, the agenda behind his machinations might not be so unpleasant to her after all. If he did it all simply because he wanted to get into her pants, the poor girl thought maybe she wouldn't be so opposed. That was what made her mad the most. I could feel it.

"What exactly do you mean by 'introductions'?" Eric asked.

"Tomorrow night, you take me along on your manhunt, er, vamp-hunt."

"Why?" Pam jumped in.

"Because clearly you are not asking the right questions," I replied with a thick tone of condescension.

"Fine," her master growled. "Sookie, are you satisfied?"

She shrugged.

"It's better than nothing," she said, insinuating that Eric's previous efforts amounted to nothing.

We left the club and my mind ran through all the contingencies of my now a little less screwed-up plan. I was going to have to prod Sookie for some more details if I was going to find a way to salvage my assignment before the Queen realized how royally I had fumbled it.

"It sounds like you and Eric have some kind of sordid history," I commented at last.

Sookie looked at me sharply.

"What gave you that impression?"

I laughed.

"So I was right," I teased.

"No," she snapped. "The only history we have is that he is selfish and manipulative and nine times out of ten an asshole."

"So what makes you keep turning to him for help? What draws you back to him?"

She seemed stumped for a moment. Her face fell.

"I can't help it," she mumbled. "It's _his_ fault. And I could stake him for it, I really could."

"Stake him for what?" I asked.

She grew silent. She wasn't going to tell me. I closed my eyes and shifted a few things in the air to cause her anger to come unsettled.

"He made me drink his blood," she blurted.

Her hand clamped immediately over her mouth.

I smiled.

"How—what—" Sookie stammered.

"Interesting," I purred, "very interesting."

We climbed into her tiny car and she gave me a dark, suspicious look.

"You know, I'm a nice girl who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt," she said, pausing before she turned the key in the ignition.

"But I swear to God, if you're just here to fuck with me, I won't be so nice."

"Honey, if it was you I wanted to mess with, we wouldn't have driven all the way to Shreveport."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see."

She shook her head in exasperation and we headed back to Bon Temps. She dropped me off at Merlotte's so I could get a nightcap. I was going to need energy to sift through the plan that was bubbling in the works.

"Lyssie!"

I stopped, rolled my eyes, and shouted, "Son of a bitch, what is it with this parking lot?"

"Girl, you know the whole deal with crossroads."

"And this is one, Kate?"

"Meeting point of a safe, comforting place to drown your brain in booze and grease and the cold, rough outside world of trials and tribulations. Yup. Total crossroads."

"So, what do you want?"

"I wanna know how you think you're actually going to get paid for your job."

"All I have to do is mess with a vampire. I can do that in a cinch."

"So _that's_ what you have to do? Oh, here I thought it was something with blondie."

"Okay, Hekate, seriously," I whined, unable to finish my sentence.

"I'll tell you what, Lyssie dear. I'll do something to help you, since I can sense you are struggling."

I folded my arms across my chest defiantly.

She continued.

"You can't do anything to Sookie. The power of a lesser god is one thing, the power of human magic is another. _My _power," she reiterated.

"Hey!"

"Let me finish. So, you're gonna let me weave a bit of a spell over her, while you work what you can with the vampire."

I measured her suggestion for a moment. Two gods meddling in things was usually messy, but often more potent.

"Well, I do have an idea," I conceded.

"Do tell."

"Eric desires Sookie."

"How do you know?"

I gave her a look that said, "Eros is my brother, duh."

"Right. So this Eric the vampire wants Sookie the human. Does she want him?"

"I would bet Olympus on it."

Her lips curled into a smile.

"A love potion," she said. "How divine!"

"Star-crossed love potion," I quickly corrected.

Hekate beamed.

"Even better."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Got $3 margaritas with a friend and then came home and wrote this. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

I wasn't used to collaborating with Hekate on friendly mischief. I think the closest human comparison to our relationship would be: bitch stole my man. You may recall that little snide remark her mother made about Ares. Yes, yes, I know, God of War, so cliché, right? But he's hot and has that je ne sais quoi of manliness about him and I couldn't help myself. Apparently neither could Hekate. Next thing I knew, Ares stopped texting and Kate is wearing a necklace with the letter A. I might have taken out my frustration by causing a serious pandemic of rabies amongst raccoons in a peaceful Virginia suburb, but it's all water under the bridge now.

Come to think of it, if Ares called I probably wouldn't even care.

Anyways, so Hekate and I were hunched over the toilet bowl in the ladies room at Merlotte's pretending like we were totally fine with each other.

Someone banged on the door.

"What the hell are you doing in there? I've had six beers!"

"Try the men's room, slut!" Hekate yelled back.

I eyed her.

"Here," she whispered. "It's just beginning to mix."

The toilet bowl water turned a lovely shade of violet.

"And you're sure this will work?" I asked nervously, remembering the fast approaching deadline I had given myself when the Queen commissioned me.

_Oh sure, I'll have it done in 72 hours or your money back_ were my words, I believe.

"Honey, I know my shit. This is gonna be perfect," Hekate assured me.

She ladled some into an empty vodka bottle. I had finished it at the bar and the nice guy Sam let me keep it as a memento since I was the only girl in there who had ever killed a fifth all on her own in one hour.

"You hold that," she said. "That's for the vamp."

"And the girl?"

She threw some powder in and the color changed to black.

"This is hers. You only need a little, though."

Hekate pulled out a vial and filled it with just a few drops.

"That's it?" I asked incredulously.

"Yup."

"Okay. Can you take care of Sookie?" I asked.

Hekate smiled and nodded. She pulled the handle and flushed the toilet. Primping herself in the mirror first, she gathered her stuff and we both left the bathroom. There was a line of angry, drunk women waiting outside.

"Deal with the bloodsucker and meet back here when you're done," Hekate ordered.

"This is my job," I reiterated.

"I know. Sorry, was I sounding to domineering?"

"Just a little."

"Well, I guess I forget sometimes. Ares likes that, you know."

I flinched a little at the mention of him.

"Whatever, see you later," I grumbled.

I trudged off with my vodka bottle of purple liquid.

"Okay," I said, trying to give myself a pep talk. "This is gonna work. And then I can get out of this bayou and try something new. Like a vacation. Or a singles cruise…"

After a quick flight, I landed myself outside Fangtasia. They were still open, so I went in the front entrance.

"Uh, this isn't BYOB," the blonde she-vamp said.

"Don't you remember me?" I asked.

"No."

"Well, this is a special delivery for Eric. A present from Sookie."

She flinched a little.

"Ugh. Well, fine. Go in."

I pushed my way through the early morning crowd and knocked on the office door.

"Back so soon?" Eric said when I entered.

"Just wanted to give you a little something from Sookie."

He arched his eyebrow.

I held out the bottle for him.

He frowned.

"In case you haven't noticed, my very peculiar and annoying new friend, I drink blood. Only blood."

My mind screamed: FUCK!

"Oh well…" I scrambled to fix the situation. "Well…Um, I'm going to drink it and then you drink me and it will be the most delicious cocktail ever!"

Eric didn't seem convinced.

Dear lord, I had messed this up again.

"I swear!" I tried to convince him.

He looked at me again, surveying me.

"Why would Sookie send me something like this? A cocktail and another girl's blood? Forgive me if I seem dubious."

I snapped my fingers. Everything froze and I screamed: "Chronos!"

My mother's lifelong peer arrived in a flash.

"Yes, dear?"

"Can you fix this?" I asked.

"How many minutes?"

"Um…give me twenty."

Chronos sighed, wound his wristwatch, and I was back in the parking lot of Fangtasia, having never had the exchange with Eric.

I set the bottle of potion down on the ground and focused myself intently on performing a transformation. One of the perks of being a god is you can pretty much fashion yourself into anything if you take the time and effort.

I approached Pam at the front of Fangtasia.

"Sookie, back again? Your friend is already here."

"Why thanks!" I replied cheerfully.

I bopped my blond hair and perky ass back to Eric's office for round two.

"Sookie," he breathed.

"It occurred to me that I haven't really thanked you for all the help you've given me with the situation with Bill."

"You know I only did it to please you," he flirted.

"Well, I thought maybe I could reciprocate what you did after the bombing."

His eyes widened.

"You want me to have your blood?" he stammered.

"Isn't it fair?" I said, with just enough of a lace of hypnosis to get Eric to say yes.

He looked at me, entranced.

"I want to treat you to something, too," I added.

I downed the bottle in two gulps.

_Please work! _

Eric stepped closer to me. He licked his lips.

"I have wanted this," he said, his voice ragged.

I winced just slightly and put my hands on his chest.

"Then have me," I drawled in Sookie's sweet voice.

He kissed my lips, pressing them apart. His hands slid down my back and rested on the waist of my jeans, slamming my hips against his.

He trailed down my neck with fervent kisses, bringing one hand up to knot in my hair, pulling it fiercely out of its ponytail. It swung down around my face and Eric grabbed a strand, inhaled lovingly and kissed my lips again.

His fangs emerged. He scraped them along my collarbone and in one swift instant, just as I was beginning to feel the love potion affecting me, he bit.

Eric took a long draught and moaned when he took his lips off my skin.

"Have more," I whispered.

He sucked again, lapping with his tongue and pulled back.

He staggered away from me.

"I feel…strange," he said.

I sighed in relief.

"What's the matter?" I purred.

He looked at me with a tinge of disgust.

"Leave," he commanded.

He didn't have to say it twice. I was out of there in a flash.

"Hekate!" I hissed, once back in the parking lot of Merlotte's.

"Right here, Lyss."

"How'd things go with Sookie?" I asked.

"Perfect!" she replied and did a peppy little clap. "She so ridiculously in love with the vampire it's not even funny."

"Wait, what?"

"The love potion worked," she explained, looking at me like I was dumb.

"So…Eric doesn't want Sookie, but Sookie wants Eric?" I said.

"Uh, yeah. Isn't that what you wanted?"

I smiled nervously and said, "Yeah. I mean, yeah, that'll work. That'll really mess with him, right?"

I prayed to Zeus that this wasn't another eff up.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I've been making major changes to the second half of my book, so I was a bit distracted. But finally here's an update! Don't be scared to leave reviews—I'll love you if you do.

* * *

Hekate and I had stuffed the night to the brim with mischief and dawn was approaching. She yawned and seemed ready to trot off to bed with her dear Ares, but she stopped suddenly.

"Lyssie, are those what I think they are?"

She pointed to my neck.

I touched the spot with my fingers and felt scabs.

"Er, yeah. I had to improvise with the vamp."

"You let an immortal have you?" she asked, her eyes sparking with intrigue.

"He didn't _have_ me. He bit me. Or me as Sookie. No big deal, ok?"

"Honey, I've seen love-children born out of more absurd circumstances."

I drew in a breath sharply.

"You're out of your mind," I challenged.

"We'll see," she drawled. "Night then, Lyssa dear."

I grumbled and headed in the direction of Sookie's dilapidated house.

When I got to her yard, she was outside, dancing around a rose bush, inhaling the scent and singing.

"Uh, Sookie?" I said, trying not to sneak up on her.

"The world is perfect, did you know that?" she replied.

"Sure. Um, what are you doing out here? It's five in the morning."

"I wanted to see the sun come up."

"Oh."

"Lyssa, I have to tell you something. My heart is bursting to tell someone!"

I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped the next words out of her mouth were what I wanted to hear.

"I'm in love!" she gushed.

"With who?" I asked urgently.

"My boyfriend!"

Oh my Hera-loving—

"Eric!"

I pumped my fist in the air. Victory!

"How much do you love him?" I prodded.

"With every fiber of my being."

"Perfect."

"I have to go see him!" Sookie exclaimed.

"Well, he's a bit incapacitated for the next twelve hours or so."

"That can't stop true love, silly."

"When your true love will turn to dust, it kind of does," I argued.

"Then what should we do?"

I ran through all my time-killing activities. None of them seemed Sookie-friendly. So I used a pinch of my brother Hypnos' magic and put her to sleep on the spot.

I was tired too, so I went inside her house and curled up in her big bed. She was still comfortably sprawled out on the lawn.

Hours later, I awoke to an abrupt slap to the face.

"What the Hades!" I exclaimed.

"Why was I passed out in my yard?" Sookie demanded.

"You needed to rest."

"Outside?"

"Sure."

"And let me guess, you being in my bed is just a dramatic reenactment of Goldilocks," she said with heavy sarcasm.

"No need to get worked up. Here, I was done with my nap anyways," I said, climbing out from under the covers.

Sookie glared at me.

"In case you forgot, you're supposed to be helping me find my boyfriend."

"Eric can very easily be found at his place of work."

"Eric?" she sputtered. "I'm talking about _Bill_."

_You have got to be kidding me_…

"Bill?" I echoed weakly.

"Yes, the very special vampire of my heart who disappeared without a trace minutes after he proposed to me!"

"So…not Eric?"

"No!" she nearly screamed.

"Oh dear swan-screwing Leda."

"Excuse me?"

"Are you sure you're not in love with Eric?" I asked.

Sookie blushed.

"Who have you been talking to, lady?" she replied defiantly.

I held my head in my hands.

"What time is it?" I croaked.

"Four in the afternoon."

"We need to go to Shreveport. Now."

"I'm not sure if I want to go anywhere with you," Sookie argued. "You haven't been of much assistance at all."

"Can we please just go to Fangtasmagoria?"

"Fangtasia?" she corrected.

"Whatever."

I let her listen to her own radio station on the drive there. I was so nervous I hardly noticed the music anyways.

Pam gave us what I had come to learn was her usual greeting—aloof, slightly disapproving, yet slightly turned on by Sookie's perfect breasts. She didn't even give me a second look.

We went straight back to Eric's office.

"Well, here we are again," Sookie began. "Are you going to tell Lyssa what she needs to know to find Bill?"

Eric barely glanced up to acknowledge us.

"I don't have time for _human_ affairs," he sneered.

"Eric. You promised," Sookie replied with some desperation.

"I changed my mind. Deal with it."

"But Bill is under your jurisdiction!"

"Yes, and now I'm passing the buck."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Sookie said, looking at me.

I shrugged.

"So, just to be clear," I finally interjected, "you don't mean to search for Bill?"

Eric's head shot up. He gazed at me hungrily.

"Are _you_ asking me?" he questioned.

"Um, I guess so," I answered, growing nervous of the palpable lust radiating off of him.

Sookie looked indignant.

"Because I'd do anything for you," Eric continued.

Sookie stamped her foot. I backed away a little from both of them.

"I'm not putting up with this," Sookie whined and turned on her heel.

When she was gone, Eric took no time to pounce on me. He threw me down on the leather couch behind us.

"You're as beautiful as a goddess," he whispered.

"You're as hot as a vampire," I replied, gathering my strength and trying to push him off of me.

"I have to have you!" he said urgently.

"You'll have to be patient," I countered in my best attempt at sounding coy.

He licked his lips.

"Okay, I have to go. My ride is leaving…"

He released me and I scurried away, but not before he smacked my ass.

_Shit_.

"You've got a lot of nerve," Sookie blasted when I found her in the parking lot. "Do you just wander around seducing people?"

"Woah, woah. Who is seducing anyone?"

"You! Giving Eric the eye. I _knew_ you didn't really want to help!"

"Are you jealous?" I asked, finding no other reason for her outburst.

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed.

"It's okay if you are. I'll even let you have him."

"I don't _want_ Eric," she insisted. "I want Bill."

"Well, while you angst that out, I have an appointment I need to keep."

"You're worse than them!" she said, pointing to the club. "Thanks for nothing."

Sookie got into her car and I made my quick exit into the air. I was at the vampire queen's in a matter of minutes.

The stony guard said, "She's been expecting you."

I gulped and proceeded with trepidation.

"Please tell me you've properly fucked with Eric," she demanded immediately after I entered the room.

"Done and done," I answered.

"Good. Now tell me the gossip. What's been going on in Area Five?"

"Nothing too interesting. Just a missing vampire."

"Bill? That's not news. They won't find a trace of him anyways."

"May I ask where he is?"

The queen eyed me.

"You planning on sticking around Louisiana?" she posed.

"No way."

"Then, yes you may ask. He's—"

At that moment, she was interrupted by a messenger. The queen frowned at whatever she heard.

"Madness, my dear, did you use a _love potion_?" she asked, lacing the last two words with disdain.

I knotted my fingers and nodded my head.

"Amateur!" she spat. "I knew I should have gotten a more important god."

"It won't last. Sookie's has already worn off," I explained.

"Vampires can't metabolize magic like that. Without an antidote, it will last forever."

I imagined a lifetime of Eric in love with me. I smiled faintly but snapped out of it.

"You have to fix this, Madness," the queen commanded.

I sighed.

"I really just want to get the hades out of here."

"Too late for that. I wanted Eric distracted, not permanently disabled. Come back to me when you've actually done your job."

I groaned and left in a dark mood.

* * *

**don't worry, it's still a sookie/eric story...you'll see :)**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: It has been a really long time since I last updated. Sorry about that. Hope you like this one!

* * *

After the queen dismissed me there didn't seem to be anything to do but return to the scene of the crime. I had to figure out just what kind of potion Hekate had actually cooked up. There was nothing in my directions to her that had included: "Oh yeah and add a dash so that Eric will be in love with me." But I didin't put it past her. In fact, it was the only explanation that made sense. (Yes, I did consider for a moment that maybe Eric really _was_ in love with me, but I had to squash that thought). So Hekate screwed me over. That's what I got for trusting man-stealing whores.

Hekate didn't answer my summons, no doubt because she was too busy laughing at me. Standing alone in the parking lot at Fangtasia, I ran through my new checklist, which included finding an antidote to a potion of which I knew none of the ingredients besides water. It looked bleak.

My only ally was Sookie and she didn't even really like me.

Looking bleaker.

I was chewing my bottom lip when the door-guard extraordinaire stalked over in my direction.

"Listen, I know you did something to Eric," Pam said without preface.

"Yeah," I admitted, about to add "You wouldn't by any chance know how to undo it?" but I held my tongue.

"Anything that takes his mind off that silly human girl is fine by me, but I have to draw the line at whatever spell you cast."

I was going to ask her how Eric's being in love with me was a problem to her when she blurted, "He's literally ga-ga over anyone with tits! Including me!"

The next word out of my mouth was something to the effect of, "Whahuhfuh?"

"Yeah, I had to lock him in the office!"

"Hekate…"

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna turn this around. I promise," I lied.

"You had better," Pam said, baring her fangs.

I winced.

"Or else," she drawled.

I nodded. How many threats from intimidating lady-vampires could a girl take in one night? First the queen, now Pam. Louisiana blows.

I was about to fly back to that nice little Merlotte's for yet another bottle of vodka, but suddenly a thought hit me.

"Hey!"

Pam turned around in disdain. She put her hand on hip like she had no patience for me.

"You said Eric is crazy about every girl?"

"Yeah."

"_Every_ girl?"

"Do I have to say it twice?"

"But he didn't show any signs of liking Sookie at all," I stated.

Pam shrugged.

"Just figure out how to undo it, kay? I'm leaving now."

That one little fact that had escaped me now made everything so clear. I knew exactly which spell Hekate had cast. It wasn't a love charm at all. It was one for jealousy.

Eric was compelled to lust after every woman but the one he truly wanted.

"So he _does_ have feelings for Sookie," I muttered to myself.

Crafty, Hekate. Very crafty.

The antidote wasn't something I could procure. It had to come from Sookie. She had to profess her interest in Eric and make some sign of it.

New goal: get Sookie to stop caring about Bill for long enough that she can express desire for Eric.

It wasn't going to be too hard. I just had to find Bill and make him do something unforgivable.

"Crap," I sighed and headed towards the back door to Fangtasia.

I opened it with ease and went straight to the office. Pam certainly had locked Eric in. Although, a locked door wasn't exactly the hardest thing for a vampire to break down.

A locked door wasn't difficult for a deity to get through either. When I entered the office, I realize how Pam had gotten Eric to stay put.

He was screwing a very lovely raven-haired young woman.

"Sorry to interrupt," I shouted.

The girl shrieked, scrambled to find a piece of clothing and said, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I need to have a word with—"

Before I could finish my sentence, Eric had abandoned the girl. He was standing right in front of me, leering.

I had grabbed his attention, all right.

"And what do you need, goddess divine?"

He ran his fingers through my hair.

"I have to find Bill. Sookie's Bill."

Eric frowned and pulled away.

"I don't do favors for Miss Stackhouse. She has a disagreeable temperament."

"It's a favor for me."

"What do you need Bill Compton for?"

"It's hard to explain."

Despite Eric's newfound adoration for all things female, he was able to be rational for a moment.

"Look, I can't tell you where it is. The orders come from higher up. But here's an address. Go there and you'll get a couple more answers. Don't tell anyone about this exchange. You can keep a secret, right?"

He was back to seducing me.

Had I had a bit more dignity or common sense, I might have dashed out at that moment, but it had been a stressful couple of days and I could spare five minutes or so. Besides, I might never get another opportunity to make out with such a gorgeous specimen.

I tucked the piece of paper with the address into my jacket pocket and then took the jacket off.

"Kiss me?" I requested.


	7. Chapter 7

Valentine's Day seemed like a good time to update. Enjoy!

* * *

With the piece of paper in my hand and a smile on my face, I left Fangtasia. The address Eric had given me was a town over from Shreveport. The night was coming to a close, Sookie would have been asleep, so I went alone. I knocked twice at the back service entrance of a strip-mall pizza parlor, as I had been directed, and within a few minutes, a man that more resembled a hulking, hairy beast than any human opened the door a crack and peered out at me with a yellow eye.

"Eric Northman sent me," I said, trying to sound official.

The beast pulled the door back farther.

"What for?"

"I have a few questions."

"Of what nature?"

"Of the where-the-hell-is-Bill-Compton nature."

The beast snickered.

"He was here. We were holding him. But then his lady-friend took him away for good at least a week ago."

"Lady?"

"Yeah, real pretty, real crazy."

That could very well be Sookie, but I knew she wasn't the girl in question.

"Why did the woman take him?"

This time the beast guffawed.

"They were lovers," he said a little too lasciviously for my taste.

Again, this mystery woman was sounding like Sookie more and more. But who could it really be?

"You have any idea where they went?" I asked.

The beast shrugged.

Great, I thought. Another dead end. I was going to have to take another tack.

I pulled the largest bill out of my dilapidated wallet. Gods only needed real money on rare occasions. I'd had the same wallet for at least fifty years.

The beast seemed to perk up.

"I can tell you that they went to a hotel. A _vampire_ hotel."

"In Louisiana?"

He shook his head.

"Way up north."

"Canada?" I guessed.

"No, no, the place where Ben and Jerry's comes from."

"Sorry, who?"

"The ice cream guys."

I was completely lost.

"Vermont!" he practically shouted.

"Well, I don't eat sweets," I mumbled as an excuse for my ignorance.

"Thanks for your time," I added.

He tried to shake my hand with his paw, but I was gone before that.

Vermont? Like snow and cows and civil liberties, Vermont?

I met Sookie for breakfast back in Bon Temps.

"I have a clue," I told her. "Bill is in Vermont."

She burst out crying.

"That's where we were supposed to go," she sobbed. "He wanted to marry me."

Of course! I remembered: marriage to a vampire was legal there. I began to sleuth out the situation. So, Bill had proposed to Sookie and was kidnapped. The tickets and reservations he had booked for them were now being used by the mystery woman. Things were starting to make sense. Although, I still had no idea how I was going to get Sookie to admit her feelings for Eric to un-charm him, but at least we were closer to knowing what had happened to Bill.

"I think we need to take a mini-vaca, whaddya say?" I asked.

Sookie dried her eyes.

"The two of us?" she said skeptically.

"We can ask Eric to join," I suggested.

Kill two birds with one stone, I hoped.

Sookie hesitated.

"Eric is probably busy," she noted.

"But if you would feel better having him on the case with us…"

She nodded ever so slightly.

"Done," I replied with a clap of my hands. "You, plus me, plus Eric. Vermont, here we come!"

Eric did quite a bit of grumbling at the mention of going anywhere with Sookie, but I made sure to promise him a few liberties with me and he seemed to brighten up. This was going to be a _great_ trip.

Eric made the arrangements to fly on a private jet from Anubis Air. You could say the Egyptians gods were our lifelong rivals—like two sports teams consistently at odds with one another—it would have been a betrayal of my Greek heritage to join Eric and Sookie on anything named after the enemy. I mentioned this to them and, strangely, it piqued Sookie's interest.

"It sounds like you have a lot of enemies, Lyssa," she said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That whole business with Hekate—do you really like anyone?"

She was smiling as she teased. I smiled back sarcastically.

"You wanna carry on from here without me?" I threatened.

Eric blurted, "Abso-fucking-lutely _not_."

"What is your problem with me _now, _Eric?" Sookie demanded.

"You're weird-looking, you make me uncomfortable, your voice is grating, I think you're ignorant, I hate being anywhere near you…"

"Okay," Sookie shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "I don't need you two!"

I rolled my eyes and gave Eric a nudge to stop provoking her.

"We're on your side, hon. Don't push us away. We'll find Bill and then you two can wander off blissfully. Just keep your cool for the time being."

"Don't even speak to me, Eric Northman, for the rest of this trip. I can't believe I thought we'd be better off with you—"

"Oh, you are," Eric interjected.

"Don't _speak _to me," Sookie insisted again.

I threw my arms around both of their shoulders and pulled them into a huddle.

"Can we try to get along, kids? I don't have a lifetime to do this, so we've got to cooperate."

Sure, the queen hadn't given me a specific deadline, but the sooner I broke Hekate's jealousy spell on Eric, the better.

We climbed aboard the plane. If we were all going to have to work together, then I had to capitulate and ride the Egyptian airline.

"Next stop: Burlington," the captain said.

Eric climbed into his coffin, while I poured Sookie and me nice, tall cocktails. I busted open the jar of nuts and offered her some. She was visibly upset.

"Don't worry," I tried to comfort.

"I just can't believe how insensitive Eric is being," she mumbled, almost to herself.

"Has he been friendlier in the past?" I asked, though I already knew.

"Much, much friendlier. Like he wanted to sleep with me kind of friendly."

"Maybe he's just tired of chasing someone who refuses to reciprocate his feelings. It can be a lonely and exhausting pursuit."

Sookie looked me in the eyes. I thought I had cracked her a little.

"It doesn't matter anyways," she replied. "I love Bill."

"So you keep saying…"


	8. Chapter 8

Here we go! Thanks for reading!

* * *

The timing of the trip was odd. The easiest flight to catch was the vampire idea of a "red-eye." It left in late, late hours of the night and arrived just before lunchtime, for the convenience of its passengers, or so they said. They assumed we liked being deposited in an airport without sleep and without our undead companions, who got to snooze through the next day.

The airline staff loaded Eric, now comfortably in his coffin, into the back of a limo and waited impatiently as Sookie and I stumbled out into the brisk Vermont morning.

"We're going to have to do some legwork at the hotel before the vamps awake," I said.

"Do you really think Bill is going to be at the hotel he booked for our wedding?"

"It's a start."

Sookie oohed and aahed through the whole car ride any time she saw tall trees, moose-themed shops, or signs for maple syrup. That girl needs to get out more.

I had a personal connection to our new location only insofar as I liked to make people go mad in the wintertime. I'm probably half the force behind seasonal affected disorder, but let's not make that common knowledge.

When we reached the hotel, we noticed that it was only very recently converted to accommodate vampires. Most of it still looked and felt like a roadside lodge for humans. They only had three light-tight rooms. That narrowed our search considerably. The main glitch was the stodginess of the man behind the desk. He would not share the names of his other guests for anything. I tried money, a tiny spell, everything. He was unmovable. I began to wonder if there was something supernatural about him, but I didn't pick anything up. Sookie tried to read his thoughts but she said they were a tangled as that maenad who had lately swept through Bon Temps.

Wary, we carried our bags to our room, where Eric's coffin was already propped up on a luggage rack.

"Who could he be?" Sookie asked, referring to the man at the desk.

"I don't know. But we can't rule out that he's involved in the whole mess with Bill," I added.

"Could he be one of you?"

I mused for a moment.

"He could. I mean, there are so many demi-gods, it's impossible to keep track. And then if two of them got together, they'd create even more. He could be anyone's son and I wouldn't even know it."

"Well, that's just great."

Sookie flopped on one of the twin beds.

I looked around at the room. It was supposed to give off the ambience of a New England cabin, but it came off a little too kitschy. All the modern amenities stood out awkwardly. I looked from Sookie to Eric's coffin and back to Sookie. It was going to be a weird ménage a trois for the next few days. I tried to think of ways to isolate the two of them in the room without me. Things were bound to heat up eventually. Then the spell would be broken, poof!

Suddenly it dawned on me. How could I have missed this? The fastest way to dissolve a jealousy charm is to intensify the jealousy. Fight fire with fire, so to speak. I had to make Sookie boil over with envy. I figured this could be done in two ways. First, I could fool around with Eric. Second, we could find Bill in the arms of someone else. Sookie's rage would push her into the right man's arms. Er, vampire's arms.

I shook my head at my own thought. It was going to be quite difficult to frame a guy we couldn't even locate.

"All right," I said aloud finally. "Let's see if we can sleuth out your beau."

We spent the whole day asking around the little town if they had had many vampire visitors. We pretended we were from a church doing a survey of the human-ness of the place. Most of the people told us that the only vampires they encountered came in a large tour group. None of them bought any of the Vermont-themed souvenirs except for postcards of the scenery. One clerk told us that it was a great disappointment that no one was interested in their latest crop of maple candy. I almost burst out laughing. It would certainly be a bizarre day indeed if these particular immortals had been shopping for sweets.

A restaurant manager told us a different story. He said that, because of the marriage law, they got a lot of couples coming through.

"Anyone from the South? From Louisiana?" Sookie asked eagerly.

The man thought for a moment.

"We get them from all over," he replied.

"Thanks for your time," I said and glanced over at Sookie.

She was intently reading his thoughts and when we got back to the car, she divulged the information she had gleaned.

"He's seen a couple with Southern accents. They looked uncomfortable in one another's presence, like one was being forced to be there. He said the woman was beautiful in a frightening way. She doted on her companion, while he remained stoic."

"You think a she-vamp kidnapped Bill?" I wondered.

Sookie shrugged.

"I don't know what to believe. But I guess it's possible. Who could have done it, though…"

We stopped at a different restaurant and had a delicious dinner—or at least Sookie did. I had a delicious, strong as an ox, cocktail made with six kinds of vodka. It was divine.

When we got back to the hotel, the sun was just beginning to set, but Eric was already awake, pacing around our room with its dark, sealed windows.

"There you are!" he exclaimed when he saw me.

He frowned at Sookie and she frowned right back at him.

"Listen, mister," she said, "if you don't start treating me nicely, I'm gonna leave you out in the daylight."

It was quite a threat coming from someone half his size.

Eric rolled his eyes and replied, "I'd like to see you try that Miss Stackhouse. Now can you give me and Lyssa some privacy?"

"I absolutely will not! This is my room too."

"Fine, you can watch, if you like."

I couldn't help grinning. This was exactly what needed to happen between the two of them. Plus, I didn't mind the idea Eric was trying to promote.

"Eric Northman, you are not going to sexile me. I'm on _vacation_!"

"Fair enough," he sighed. "I think if we push together the beds there will be enough room for all of us."

Sookie's jaw dropped.

"That's what you want, isn't it?" he said, with the usual Nordic lilt to his voice.

Sookie started stammering.

"I'm all for it," I chimed in.

She glared at me, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the room.

Eric looked slightly confused. It was almost as if he felt he should go after her. I could see the conflict in his eyes. He could tell what Sookie was feeling, he knew she was lonely and exhausted. Bill had disappeared right from under her nose and now Eric, her one vampire ally, was treating her like dirt. Poor Sookie, he seemed to say.

Whatever hot moment he had planned for the two of us dissipated and he sat pensively on the edge of the bed.

I gave an exasperated sigh.

"Will you just hurry up and go get her?"

Eric looked up at me.

"Should I?" he asked.

I clapped him on the shoulder and nudged him towards the door. It was a futile action, since he was nearly a solid rock compared to me and my slight hand, but he got the message.

Sookie had only gotten a few doors down in the hallway. She was crying.

I listened as Eric coughed to announce his presence and began to say, "I'm sorry…"

Finally we were getting somewhere.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: A little bit of Eric and Sookie. Finally.

* * *

"Um," Eric began again.

"Don't 'um' me, you giant asshole," Sookie snapped.

"Okay..."

"Don't 'okay' me either. In fact, don't say anything to me at all."

"What if it's an apology?"

I grinned, listening. I couldn't contain myself so I peeked out in the hall.

Sookie was looking at Eric skeptically.

"I don't believe you can actually give me a sincere apology," she said.

"Won't you let me try?"

Something in her face softened.

"Sookie, I'm terribly sorry I offended you," he said.

"Thank you."

"You didn't let me finish."

"Yes?"

"I'm terribly sorry I offended you but you were being a prude."

She seemed about to slap him.

"What on earth has gotten into you, Eric? I know you can be mean and petty and hard. I know that. But right now, you're being--well, _vile_. You're being _evil_. You're--"

"Are you playing anagrams? How about _live_?" I chimed in.

They both looked back at me.

"Zoops," I said. "Carry on."

"Okay, okay, I really am sorry," Eric finally expressed.

"Fine," Sookie grumbled.

He extended his hand to her.

"Hug it out!" I exclaimed.

They eyed me again.

"You'll feel better," I told them.

There must have been something in their interactions that compelled them to listen to me. It was as if underlying all the banter really was the urge just to be close to one another. Otherwise they could have told me to eff off and leave their argument on a bitter note.

Instead they stepped toward one another like reluctant children.

Sookie reached one arm up to pat him on the back in an awkward half-embrace, but Eric preempted her by closing his arms around her and clasping his hands against her lower back. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and I could swear I saw him smile. Sookie tried to get her chin up over his shoulder, but his height made it impossible and she was left setting the side of her face against his chest.

They stood there for a few tense minutes and when Eric pulled away, Sookie sighed. She sighed!

"See?" I said, clapping my hands. "All better."

Not wanting to ruin the new chemistry, I made up some excuse about wanting to question the mysterious, possibly supernatural man at the front desk. I left the two of them in the hallway and assumed they would return to the room together. Who knows? Maybe Eric would settle for Sookie in my absence.

It was not to be, though. Eric followed quickly after me.

"Don't leave me with her," he grumbled.

I could have screamed. This spell was getting irritating.

"Listen, you know I think you're the sexiest but you're really making this impossible for me. Will you just stop hating Sookie for like five minutes? Please. For the love of Zeus."

Suddenly it hit me. Not for the love of Zeus. For the love of Eros! I needed my brother and fast.

I tried a little chant to no avail. Then I tried my cell. He picked up on the third ring.

"Listen, loser, I need a favor, okay?" I started out.

"Fine, but you'll owe me and don't think I won't collect. What is it?"

I glanced at Eric and then spoke in Greek.

"I need you to make a vampire passionately interested in a human girl for one night."

"Piece of cake."

"Not quite," I drawled.

"Why?"

"Well, Hekate sort of already cast a jealousy spell on the two of them. Plus me."

Eros burst out laughing.

"All right, I can mask it for one night. But that's it. I can't counteract her magic, you know that," he said.

"Don't worry, I'll overcome it myself. I have a plan. I just need a little oil for the gears," I replied.

"Okay, sis, check on them around eleven tonight. It should be in effect."

"Thanks!"

Eric looked at me, a little confused. Poor guy. He was gonna be pretty effed over by godly interventions by the end of everything.

"Now, let's check out this weirdo at the front desk," I said.

We rang the bell at the desk but no one appeared. I noticed that he had left the computer on and snuck back over to it. I scrolled through the list of names of people with reservations. William Compton. Bingo. But when I looked more closely at it, I saw that there was a note that he had never shown up. Damn.

I glanced at the clock. There wasn't enough time to really sleuth around before Eros was going to do his thing. Eric and I went back to the room.

"I think you and Sookie should watch tv while I go get a drink," I suggested.

Eric shrugged. Sookie pouted. It didn't matter. They were going to be going at each other in about an hour anyways.

I trotted off to the closest roadside bar, laughing to myself at what would probably take place in our hotel room tonight.

Snuggling up to my vodka in a cozy booth, I looked around at the other patrons.

There was a frighteningly lovely woman arguing with a man who seemed to be there under some kind of duress.

"Bill…please…" I overheard.

The wheels in my head started turning. What if this was _the _Bill we were all here for? Could it be?

I took another gulp and was about to come up with some reason to go over to their table and speak with them, but they gathered up their stuff in a hurry and headed out.

I tried to follow them but I lost track in the parking lot. They had to have been vampires, I figured. No one else could have made such a speedy exit. Of course, what good did it do me to know that now? I had lost them. I returned to my drink. On my way, I stopped at their table and picked up the receipt.

It was Bill. _The _Bill. But he wasn't there under duress at all—it was his name on the credit card. Who could kidnap someone and then make them pay for dinner? I was stumped. At least we knew he was in the area. That simplified things. I wasn't sure, though, how I was going to tell Sookie that I had found him and then he just sort of disappeared. Hopefully she would be in a good mood after the night with Eric. . .

* * *

**Bonus Material!**

"I don't want to watch _Dancing with the Stars_," Eric whined.

"Well, I won possession of the remote fair and square, so deal with it."

"Flipping a coin is not a test of anything. I'd beat you if we really fought for it."

Sookie rolled her eyes.

"So, how come you're so intent on finding Bill?" Eric asked without preface.

"I don't know. How come you came along if all you were going to do is bother me?"

"I was bored," Eric lied.

"It's Lyssa, isn't it?" Sookie asked bashfully.

"She's hot, yes. But no, that's not why I came."

"Well, it certainly wasn't out of any love for me," Sookie said and turned back to the tv.

"Are you sure?"

Sookie didn't look at him.

"Very funny. But I think you've made it clear that you aren't my biggest fan. For whatever cryptic reason. Like everything with you, it's confusing to me. One big tangle and I don't care to figure it out tonight, so stop provoking me."

"Sookie…"

"Seriously, Eric, I'm not going to play games with you."

He put hands on her shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

Sookie jumped up.

"What the hell?"

"I've been a jerk. It's true. But you know why, don't you?"

Sookie crossed her arms in defiance but as he continued to look at her, she faltered a little.

"I won't fall for this," she said.

"You don't have to fall for anything. Just come closer."

She took one step forward.

"That's better."

In a second, Eric was standing before her. Sookie dropped her arms in surprise. He embraced her around the waist.

"Wouldn't you like to kiss me?" he asked.

"No," she snapped.

"Oh well."

He pressed his lips to hers anyways. She stopped resisting.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I just realized, I have to steer this towards some kind of a conclusion soonish because....True Blood will be back on the air before we know it! At least at my rate of updating, it will be here in like 2 chapters. Anyways, are people excited for "A Drop of True Blood"??? I know I am. This Sunday! Yay!

* * *

"Don't be a tease…"

"Eric!"

He traced the line of her jaw faintly and she shivered.

"You can't dazzle me into sleeping with you!" Sookie protested. "I'm un-glamour-able, remember?"

"I'm quite confident that I don't need to glamour you."

"Well, someone thinks a little too highly of himself," she said, taking two steps away from Eric.

"I hate foreplay. Can we skip this, please?"

Eric licked his lips and his fangs came out. He eyed Sookie's breasts and she crossed her arms to cover them.

"This is not happening, mister! Sex is _off_ the table."

"I've never made a habit of abstinence. I'm not sure I even know how it works. Sex is always on the table. In fact, let's have sex on a table right now."

He lunged at the tv and threw it off the dresser.

"This will have to do."

Sookie was startled by the violence of his action. The determination in his eyes frightened her. And yet, as he continued to hold her in his gaze, the fear melted into raw, panicked, passionate desire. She had been avoiding these thoughts ever since she had his blood. Her imagination had been very creative in the ways it made her want Eric. Now, suddenly, she could find out what it would really be like to be with him. When Eric reached out for her waist, she didn't flinch. He pulled her closer and moved his hands up under her shirt. In one deft flick, he undid her bra.

* * *

_Okay, okay, I'm just going to blurt it out. _Sookie, _I'm going to say_, I found Bill, but he ran away. _Perfect. To the point. Just right_.

I thought twice before I unlocked the door of our motel room. Instead, I pressed my ear up against it and strained to hear potential sounds of lovemaking. The room was quiet. I entered cautiously.

YES. I wanted to scream. And dance.

There they were. All naked and cuddly.

I hit the light. Their eyes shot open. They looked at one another, then at me, then at one another again.

Eric groaned and jerked away from Sookie.

"You've got to be kidding me," he sighed.

Sookie glared at me.

"Do you mind? Can't a person get any privacy?"

"Lyssa, do not leave," Eric said, climbing out of bed with no modesty.

"What's the matter with _you_?" Sookie asked him.

He didn't answer. Glancing at the clock, he grumbled and lifted the lid on his coffin. He climbed in without a word.

When he was all tucked in for the day, Sookie looked at me for some kind of explanation.

"I guess the mood wore off?" I tried.

"What?"

I shrugged.

"He's a fickle old thing, isn't he?"

"I'm such an idiot!" Sookie cried.

"Why don't you get a hot shower and forget all about it," I suggested.

That was the last thing I wanted her to do—forget about it? No, she needed to dwell on this in every waking moment until she realized just how fucking much she wanted the big, blond hunk of vampire hotness. Then poof! Jealousy spell broken, Eric goes back to normal, crazy queen gets off my ass, I can go home to a tall glass of Grey Goose and a bag of Doritos.

When Sookie was still in the bathroom, but had shut off the shower, I shouted to her: "Oh, um, by the way I found Bill."

"Huh?"

She came out, drying her hair with a towel.

"Nevermind. So, listen, I have a hunch that your beau is nearby."

"How do you know?" she asked eagerly.

"Just my godly instincts," I replied.

In that instant, I had an intense revelation.

There was one god – omniscient, omnipresent, even above Zeus himself – my numskull brother Moros. He was the god of doom, but even more than that, I heard once that vampires had made a bargain with him in the old days. They got extended life; Moros got a slew of servants to drive mortals to their fateful end.

But damn. I just had to beg Eros for a favor…was I really going to go crawling to Moros? He could tell me in a blink where this Bill character was. Probably. Or he could dick me over and play dumb. I could curse my mother for having so many children with stronger, more interesting, more useful powers than me.

No. I was going to crack this on my own. The town was small. We were going to find him without the help of any more Olympians. I didn't want to have to deal with any more gods (facebook told me in the time I was away from the Sookie-Eric lovefest in the hotel room that my dreamboat Ares was now screwing Aphrodite. Little Miss Sex herself. How can a girl compete?).

So, no more gods for the time being. I was putting a freeze on them.

I realized Sookie was looking at me expectantly.

"There are only two nice restaurants in the vicinity and I know for certain that one of them can be crossed off the list," I explained.

"How—"

"Don't question my methods," I snapped. "Anyways, I think we should make a reservation for tonight. Sound good?"

"And Eric?"

"We can leave him here if you want."

Sookie sighed.

"I don't get it, Lyssa. _What_ is his deal?"

"He's freaking obsessed with you, duh."

"Stop joking."

"I mean it. He's being mean like a five-year-old because he knows you belong to Bill or whatever. It's only self-preservation."

"So last night?" she asked as if she really believed I had all the answers.

"He must have broken down in weakness. You are quite irresistible when you get right down to it."

Sookie seemed appeased for the time being. Would she profess her feelings for Eric? That was what we really needed. And could she do it before we found Bill and she remembered why she was with him and not Eric?

Life was being stressful and I just didn't like it.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This may seem like a choppy chapter, but I'm trying to move the story along. I can't believe Season 3 starts this weekend!

* * *

I needed to stop coming up with plans as I went along. They never worked out. What I needed to do was sit still for five solid minutes and figure out what had to be accomplished. Then maybe I'd have some success. But I kept bumbling along. And now it was too late in the Sookie-Eric-Bill debacle to really save face with a thoroughly thought-out plan of action. I knew full well that it was a grade A disaster.

I was so close to unraveling the knot and undoing all the spells, though. At least it felt that way. I had gotten Sookie to sleep with Eric. I had seen Bill and knew for certain that he was in the area. There wasn't much else on my to-do list.

When Eric woke up that evening, the first thing he did was guzzle a TruBlood. His lip curled back a little in disgust.

"Where's Sookie?" he asked.

"Bathroom," I replied and indicated the closed door. "Primping for our night on the town."

I could swear there was a glisten in Eric's eye.

"Where are we going?"

He stood up and began to pull on clothes.

I turned to give him a little privacy and answered, "A nice restaurant that I'm willing to bet Bill will be at."

"We need to give up our search for him. It's only going to upset Sookie. Even if we find him, I have a feeling it will not be a good thing."

I raised my eyebrow at him skeptically.

"Now, why would you care if it upsets Sookie?"

Eric shrugged.

"I'm just looking out for her."

I felt a spike of adrenaline.

"Why would you do that?" I pressed.

"It's selfish really," he replied, glancing at the bathroom door.

This was it! This was it!

"Sookie! Get out here this instant!" I commanded at the top of my lungs.

The door flung open and Sookie rushed out, mascara brush in hand.

I watched Eric carefully.

There was a definite glisten in his eye.

"Uh, hurry up," I said. "We don't have much time."

"Geez, I thought the place was on fire, Lyssa."

Sookie went back to putting on her make-up.

Eric continued to gaze in her direction.

Had I done it? Had I really gotten Eric back to normal? There was only one way to find out. While Sookie was occupied, I walked purposefully up to Eric and went to grab his ass.

Before I even laid a finger on his jeans, he had my wrist in his strong grip.

"Looking is free," he said. "But touching will cost you."

I burst out laughing and clapped my hands excitedly.

I did it! I really did it! There didn't have to be any professions of love or grand gestures. All it took was one hook-up and a good day's rest and Eric was un-ensorcelled. It felt anti-climactic and waaay too simple, but I didn't care. Now he could continue angsting out his desire for Sookie without the hindrance of a jealousy spell.

At that moment, Sookie came back into the room.

"I'm ready," she chirped and reached for her purse.

Suddenly it struck me – now that Eric was back to normal, what difference did it make if we found Bill or not? I only intended to use him to push Sookie closer to the big blond vamp. In fact, I didn't know what I was still doing on earth. My job was done, wasn't it? I could high-tail it back to Olympus and be home in time for a nice dinner of Stoli Vanil and a package of Oreo Cakesters.

"Uh, you two go on ahead to the restaurant," I said slowly, eyeing the exit. "I'll meet up with you later."

"Giving us the slip?" Sookie asked, looking at me like she was a mind-reader.

Damn! I was under the impression that she couldn't understand my thoughts.

"Not at all," I stammered.

"You promised you'd help find Bill."

"And I will. I just have to rendez-vous with some higher-ups. Report on the last couple of days. Bureaucratic shit, you understand."

"Let her go," Eric said to Sookie. "I can take care of you."

"Yes, thank you," I sighed. "Let Eric look after things. I'll be back before you know it."

So, I couldn't cut and run just yet. But at least now I could take care of some unfinished business. Like giving Hekate a piece of my mind.

She answered my summons with Ares in tow. I was not prepared.

"What is he doing here?" I hissed.

"Hi Lyssa," he drawled, giving me the kind of look that makes every goddess weak in the knees.

"I thought you were with Aphrodite now," I said.

"She's been really needy lately. I don't put up with that kind of stuff."

He draped his arm around Hekate.

"Whatever. Listen, Kate, I know you fucked up the potions but I'm here to tell you that I turned everything around anyways. I fixed it, okay. I _win_."

"Ah, yes, the jealousy spell. So you got them to sleep together, well, clever you. I happen to know you only did it with the help of your brother."

"Irrelevant. And anyways, I don't care what you think about it. Just don't ever think you can mess with me again, all right?" I said, taking a step closer to her.

Hekate looked like she was ready to boil over.

"Ladies, ladies, please," Ares chimed in.

"I'll make you go mad forever," I taunted.

"Like your powers actually work."

I gave one final glare and snapped my fingers. In a second, I was far from the two of them. I started to cool down. Next stop: queen of Louisiana.

"Eric is back to his usual self," I told her.

She looked at me as though I were an idiot.

"Did I ask you to make him normal?"

"Um, you asked me to undo the spell…"

"Yes, which you stupidly brought upon him. Now, think back to our original conversation, Madness. What did I ask you to do?"

I smacked my forehead.

"Oh good, you just saved me the trouble of doing that myself. I _knew_ I should have recruited a more important god for this."

The queen looked furious.

"I can still fix it. I can make Eric go mad. I can," I started to say.

"What difference does it make now? Not only have you brought the situation with Eric to a net zero, but you've led Sookie straight to Bill, who was supposed to stay out of sight. Brilliant, Madness. Just fucking brilliant. If I ever want to accidentally bring about the apocalypse, I know who to call. You're fired."

I didn't bother to argue, but rather sulked out of sight. It probably would have been for the best if I went home. My pride, however, told me that I needed to finish the queen's job. If only to prove that I was a goddess who followed through. I don't half-ass things. Okay, well, I do, like, all the time, but still! I needed to get this one right. I _had_ to.

* * *

**is eric really back to normal? we'll see...**


End file.
